


Bound to Happen

by Rhys (rhyssj)



Series: Bound to Happen/All Falls Down [1]
Category: NSYNC, Popslash
Genre: Alcohol, Cheating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Loss of Virginity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-03
Updated: 2001-12-03
Packaged: 2019-04-19 20:36:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14245254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhyssj/pseuds/Rhys
Summary: It was bound to happen.





	Bound to Happen

**Author's Note:**

> For Dacey, who wanted JC/Justin, and to whom I wanted to give it.

Justin woke staring at a length of spine under pale skin, a dip in the flesh that started below messy hair and travelled downward, disappearing behind a white sheet draped low over a boney hip. His eyes hurt from looking down so far as he struggled not to move until he knew just where exactly he was, and he didn't want to wake the sleeping body until he possessed a clear understanding of the situation. So, Justin reasoned, his head aching, he was in bed with someone, who was naked, and Justin could only presume he was also naked, since he felt cold from neck to knee, and rubbing his finger against his thigh confirmed it. 

Justin felt sick suddenly and needed to get up, probably to puke or maybe to cry, because he'd seen Britney's back before, knew it well because she always wore those slinky little bikinis when they went to the beach on dates, and that line of smooth skin wasn't Britney. It was a terrible thing to realise because at least if it had been her it would probably be okay, but it wasn't, it couldn't be, because the shoulders were too wide, the back too broad, the hips too narrow. It wasn't even a girl but a guy lying naked in bed with him. 

Justin remembered drinking last night, a lot if he recalled correctly, and the fruity type of drinks that always fucked with his mind because he couldn't taste the alcohol and didn't realise that after twelve he was wasted beyond imagine. He didn't remember much of anything else, vague memories of making fun of Lance for wearing purple vinyl pants and pulling at JC's hair for hours because it was so curly and, therefore, funny to Justin in his drunkenness. Joey challenged him to a game of pool, which they forfeited after Joey hit the white ball off the table and they couldn't find it again, and Chris had been there, annoying as usual, drunk off his goat and declaring himself the king of the world more than once. But most of it, Justin realised, was just a blur, like a photograph of motion, in his head. 

Carefully, he touched his fingers to his dick, stiff with his morning hard-on, and rubbed his thumb over the skin of his shaft, and it felt normal, so he slid his hand up a bit further, closer to his body, and. His fingers paused at the kinky hair, matted against the soft skin with something sticky, something. Justin closed his eyes against the sudden onslaught of tears. He pulled his hand up higher, to his belly, and palmed it, feeling the dried mess on his skin then took his hand away, his stomach rolling. It was everywhere, this guy's. This guy was everywhere, and Justin was fighting to stay calm, trying not to freak out, because Justin needed to check one last spot. 

He moved his hand behind him, careful not to jiggle the bed, and poked his fingers between his legs, sliding down until he found the entrance to his body. He pressed, just to test, and winced because ow, raw and slick and. Used. Justin snatched his hand back quickly. He could barely process what it meant, just that he was screwed, in more ways than one. 

The next question was, of course, who was in bed with him, and Justin narrowed it down quickly in his head because he knew himself, and he knew how often people tried to sleep with him when he was drunk, and he knew he wouldn't and didn't consent to groupies, even when plastered, so it had to be someone else, someone he trusted and knew, which actually didn't make anything better to think about the implications of that. There was no question, then, that the possessor of the body was JC, with the mess of dark curls and the skinny hips and the way of sleeping rolled up on his side. 

Justin sat up then because JC slept through anything, always had, and he'd once slept through Chris jumping on him for over an hour until he woke up and shoved Chris off the bed. When Justin's feet hit the floor, he stepped in something sticky, and he looked down to see not one but three used condoms, all tied in knots. At least, Justin thought with relief, they'd been safe, and he stood up. 

He showered quickly, scrubbing at himself, and felt a little better, though still ill to his stomach, and he cried a little bit because he didn't know what to do now. He would say goodbye to JC and leave to get himself some breakfast because this was his own house and he couldn't go without making a big deal, but he couldn't stay because. He just couldn't stay. 

Justin came out scrubbing at his hair, a towel wrapped around his waist, and he walked into his closet to slide on a pair of jeans and an oversized sweater, with a thick collar and long sleeves. When he entered his bedroom again, JC was awake and sitting up, scratching a hand through his curls and rubbing at his eyes with his other hand. He stopped when he noticed Justin. 

"Hey," JC said quietly, mouth crooked with a little smile, and Justin freaked, suddenly, his heart pounding a mile a minute. What did JC want? Why was he acting so normal? Didn't he understand what they'd just done? JC tugged the sheet closer to his body. "Thanks for putting me to bed, man. I was wasted last night." 

"Did I?" Justin asked, shoving his hands in pockets to hide the shaking. 

"Didn't you?" JC replied, tipping his head, and he looked around, like it hadn't dawned on him until now that this wasn't his beautiful house and was instead Justin's room, in Justin's house, in Justin's life. Twisting the sheet around his waist, JC stood up and frowned. "Did we?" JC looked down at his dick. "We didn't, did we?" 

"I think we did," Justin muttered and just wanted him to leave. 

"Oh, shit." JC looked around for his jeans and found them on the other side of the bed, right by the three used condoms, and Justin watched as JC stared at them. "Oh, Justin. I'm so sorry. I guess it was bound to happen, but I'm still sorry. Sometimes, we do stupid things when we're drunk, you know?" JC paused. "Are you okay?" 

Justin felt numb and sick and dirty, but nodded and said, "yeah, I'm fine." 

JC smiled warmly and rubbed Justin's jaw with his thumb for a moment then he stepped back and walked over to his jeans, pulling them on. Justin looked at his feet while JC tugged his shirt down his body. "You want me to stay, or should I just go?" 

"I'm going to get breakfast, and then I gotta do some stuff," Justin replied. 

"Okay. If you need to talk, you know, when your head clears and you remember last night, you call me, all right? I'm only assuming I'm your first experience with a guy, but if I am, well, I remember how big of a thing it was," JC said, and Justin nodded. JC hugged him before leaving the room, and Justin stood there for half an hour before he followed. 

~~~ 

Chris's house was locked up when Justin arrived, so Justin let himself in and deactivated the alarm before it went off. He made breakfast in Chris's kitchen, scrambling eggs and frying bacon and toasting bread, while he listened to the oldies radio station and tried to keep himself calm until Chris woke up and would do it for him. 

Chris came down just as the last few strips of bacon were cooking, and he raised his eyebrows but sat down at the table, scratching his stomach. Justin loaded up a plate and brought it to him then made one for himself, with considerably less food because Justin still wasn't very hungry. 

"What's up?" Chris finally asked, chewing the eggs, and Justin shrugged, ripping his toast into pieces. Chris swallowed loudly and took a big gulp of orange juice. "All right. Let's pretend I asked you that ten times, and I'm extremely annoyed. So, what's up?" 

"JC and I slept together," Justin replied, and his stomach somersaulted with even the mention of it. Chris choked on his mouthful of eggs, spraying them everywhere, and Justin handed him a napkin. "I guess I was pretty drunk last night." 

"Oh, you were," Chris assured him, wiping his face. "I mean, the cab dropped you guys off together because C lives so out of the way, and you were more than willing to put him up, since Joey was going to be busy with Kelly, and I thought I was going to be, but I got puked on instead. I, obviously, was the only one at this table who didn't get lucky last night." 

Justin smiled a little bit at that and shrugged, but then he felt bad for smiling, for feeling better about the terrible situation for even a second. He stared at his toast for a long, long time. "What am I going to tell Britney? I really fucked up." 

Chris lifted an eyebrow. "You going to tell her?" 

"I have to," Justin said quietly, and now he really felt sick, was very worried he was going to throw up all over Chris, but he didn't want to tell Chris that because Chris would go make him sit with the toilet alone until it was all over. "We're honest with each other, and fuck. I can't believe I slept with C. I don't know why I would." 

"He's pretty hot," Chris said. 

Justin shrugged, wrapping his arms around his waist as he leaned forward, blowing at the crumbs from the toast. "But I." Justin was just numb with knowledge. "Chris, we were saving it, Brit and I." Justin bit his lower lip between his teeth. "I've been drunk before, and I've never slept with anyone else. I was in control." 

Chris held up his hand. "Whoa, back the truck up there, Justin. Saving what?" 

Justin blushed. "Um. Myself. You know, for marriage. For Britney." Justin hated talking about it because all the guy made fun of him for it, even Lance, who claimed he'd had sex but Justin wasn't sure he believed him. Lance, as far as Justin could tell, always went home alone. "Come on, Chris. The whole world knows about this." 

"Oh, shit. You mean, you're actually a virgin?" Chris asked, shocked. "Oh, fuck, J. We thought this was one of those don't ask, don't tell things. I mean, it's been years, dude, since you've said anything. We all assumed you were fucking Britney." 

"But I said. Marriage, Chris," Justin repeated numbly, waving his hand around, trying to make Chris understand, but it was all down the drain now anyway, all his plans and his struggle for abstinence and his ideas about loving himself so much that he didn't need sex to make himself feel more like a man. He just wanted Britney, who wanted to wait. "I wrecked everything. She's going to be so mad." 

Chris looked freaked out. "Kid, you can't be a virgin. You must've gone down on her." 

Justin shook his head, his stomach cramping now, and he really was going to blow chunks everywhere if Chris didn't shut up about it. "No, that's sex, too. We kissed, and we touched, sometimes, with our hands, but we don't have a lot of time together, and we always spent it talking or getting caught up or dating. We were waiting." 

"No, shit," Chris said, shaking his head. "Wow." 

Justin shrugged. It was impressive, his self control, until this morning, when he realised that not only did he sleep with JC but he'd let JC fuck him, which was so gay, and that was the other part freaking him out, but Justin wasn't ready to talk about it yet. "I have to tell her." 

"Yeah," Chris said. "I'm sorry, man, really. I mean, we seriously thought you guys were sleeping together, like. You know how we have certain things we all know but we don't talk about? Like, we don't talk about the fact that Lance is gay." 

Justin sniffed. "Lance is gay?" 

"And JC's bi, and they dated for awhile," Chris continued then stopped as Justin's jaw dropped hard and fast, and the room spun wildly. Justin reached out to grab the table, and Chris put a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Dude, you knew that." 

"I didn't," Justin breathed. "Did they tell you?" 

"No, but we all knew. It didn't last very long, from what I understand, but they really helped other get comfortable with being queer, and it ended great." Chris shovelled more eggs into his mouth, chewing loudly. "And Eric. You knew about Eric, right?" 

"Lance's ex-roommate Eric?" 

"Lance's ex-boyfriend Eric," Chris said slowly then slapped a hand over his forehead as Justin looked around the kitchen stupidly. "Fuck, Justin. They broke up, like, awhile ago, and that's why Lance bought a new house. They were together forever, and he ended it." 

Justin rubbed a hand over his face. "I didn't know." 

"Jesus," Chris muttered, shaking his head, and Justin felt like an idiot. "Uh, hold on for a sec," Chris said suddenly and pushed his chair back, marching over to the pantry and grabbing a broom. Justin lifted an eyebrow as Chris banged hard on the ceiling five times. "Christ, kid, if we knew you weren't paying attention to all this shit, we would have said something." 

"I don't understand why we don't talk about it," Justin muttered. 

"It's so we don't have to lie for each other," Chris explained, sitting back down and shoving two pieces of bacon into his mouth. Justin felt a little better so he gnawed on his toast bits, his stomach still unsteady. "Of course, eventually, someone gets screwed over," Chris smirked at Justin, "like you." 

Justin sighed loudly. "Don't make fun of me, man." 

"I can't believe you gave your virginity to C, dude. Well, like, I can believe it, but, you know, it's C. Of course, it was bound to happen," Chris added, adding more salt to his eggs, and Justin glared at him. "Dude, you guys have been flirting pretty hard these past few months, like, there have been times where I thought you were going to drop to your knees and inhale his cock." 

Justin choked on his toast, feeling it scratch his throat, and Chris thumped him on the back as he coughed hard. Sipping Chris's orange juice, Justin looked up just in time to see a very bedraggled and hungover Lance saunter into the kitchen. Lance stopped. "Oh, hey, Justin." 

"Justin didn't know you were gay," Chris said, and Lance smirked. 

"Did he know you were?" 

Chris laughed and looked at Justin. "Nope." 

Justin felt like a moron and finished his toast. 

~~~ 

The next morning, Justin woke up with a start and remembered it all, all the naked limbs and the drunken giggles, and that he wore two of the condoms, the first and second time they fucked. The third time, JC spread Justin out on the bed and fucked him hard into the mattress, and Justin begged for it. It wasn't, under any circumstances, the type of sex Justin hoped for. He wanted it to be bad so he could tell Britney it was all a stupid mistake. 

Britney came back to Orlando for a weekend, and Justin told her right away, sat her down and explained it. She punched him really hard. "You fucking asshole," she said as he rubbed his jaw, sitting on the ground. "You. Fucked. JC." 

"I was drunk," Justin muttered, "I'm sorry," and he was, but he wasn't too surprised when she dumped him, right then and there, for breaking their pledge to save themselves for marriage. He didn't even fight it, either, because he couldn't take it back. "Brit, I'm so sorry." 

"You cheated on me," Britney said, again, and now Justin thought she was just rubbing salt into the wound. He got it. He slept with someone who wasn't her, and he was going to hell for it, and he was fucked in all ways. He got it. He just wanted her to shut up already. He pulled his knees to his chest. "Are you gay, Justin?" 

"No," he mumbled. 

"Are you straight?" 

Justin shook his head, tugging at his curls. "No, but, Brit, you gotta believe me. I didn't think I was gay enough to actually sleep with a guy. It was just an attraction thing, and I don't know why I slept with him, and I'm so, so sorry. So sorry." 

Britney sighed deeply. "I really hate you right now, Justin. I'm going to spend the next week crying because of you. I thought you were the one," she said quietly, sitting on the bed with her head in her hands, and Justin rubbed at his eyes. "But you've loved him so much longer than you've loved me. It was bound to happen." 

"Don't say that," Justin protested, "please. It didn't mean anything." 

"You gave him your virginity, Justin. You made your decision," Britney said, resigned now, like she often got when she knew she lost. Justin pressed his fingers against his eyelids, forcing the tears to stay in. Britney got off the bed. "I really hate you, Justin. I can't believe you did this to us, but I'll get over it, just give me a few weeks and then I want my best friend back, okay, honey?" 

Justin nodded, big blobs of tears streaking down his cheeks and dripping onto the back of his hands, and Britney bent down and pressed a kiss to the top of his head then picked up her purse and left. Justin cried for the rest of the night, curled into a ball on his floor. 

~~~ 

JC came over a day later to apologise again, and Justin latched onto him, made JC hold him for an hour before letting him go to order some pizza for dinner. Justin sat on the couch, holding a pillow to his chest, when JC came back from the kitchen. 

"Britney and I broke up," Justin explained quietly, looking at JC when he said it, and JC's eyes fluttered closed and he nodded, like he knew they would. When JC moved to touch him, Justin leaned into it and breathed. "I broke our promise." 

"No cheating," JC said wisely. 

Justin shook his head then had a swarm of last minute thoughts about telling JC the full story because what if JC felt pressured to pursue something further? Justin wasn't even sure he wanted that, but he must have needed something if he slept with JC. "Um. C. I'm not saying this to, like, make you feel guilty, but you were kinda my first." 

"I know," JC said quietly, rubbing Justin's cheek with his thumb, and it just felt so wonderful and tender and caring, like JC always was, or rather, when he wasn't being a pissy bitch, but Justin liked him more for all his faults. "I'm just glad it was me. There are some terrible guys out there." 

"You were my first everything," Justin said, feeling like such a kid, and he was torn between being bitter that he'd waited for a person who ended up dumping him for being a fuck and being really excited that he wasn't a virgin anymore. "Like, everything." 

JC stepped back. "But you and Britney." 

"We were saving it for marriage," Justin said sourly, pissed that not even JC thought to believe him. Just because they were all lying and leading secret lives, didn't mean Justin was doing anything other than telling them everything. There just wasn't anything to tell. "I told y'all that. We're virgins. Or I was." 

"Oh," JC said, and he looked adorable, Justin thought suddenly, all baffled and dazed and suspicious. Justin scritched a hand over his knee and waited for JC to come back to him again. Eventually, JC gave Justin a huge, dazzling grin. "Oh, man, Justin. Wow. Like, your first time, with me. That's. Wow." 

Justin smiled shyly and nodded. "Yeah." 

"Do you regret it?" JC asked, folding a warm hand over Justin's upper arm. 

"I regret that I hurt Britney, but I don't think so," Justin answered honestly, shrugging, and he thought about it, suddenly, the feeling of JC over him, thrusting in deep, kissing him. "I remember it. It was." Justin touched his fingers to his hair. "It was good." 

"It was," JC agreed, smiling. "I just, wow, Justin." JC shook his head as if to clear it, and his curly hair flopped all over the place, big and bouncy and beautiful. Justin remembered JC shaking it over Justin's naked belly, sprinkling him with sweat and laughing. "What do you want to do, Justin?" 

"What do you mean?" Justin asked. 

"Do you want to go out to dinner with me, or something? Unless I'm reading this all wrong, like, these past few months. If it was just a friendly thing, tell me, and I'll back off," JC said, sliding his hand down Justin's arm to squeeze his fingers. Justin smiled weakly but didn't know what to say. "You know what? I'll wait two months and then I'll ask again. You're probably pretty hurt about Britney. I knew you thought you two were going to get married." 

Justin nodded numbly. "Okay." 

"Okay," JC agreed and kissed him on the cheek. "Okay." 

~~~ 

Justin found out a whole bunch of stuff once everyone started talking about things, like that Joey and Kelly weren't really still together but for Brianna's sake were still good friends. Lance broke up with Eric for Chris, who still couldn't believe his good luck, and Chris was so gay that he'd needed Dani as a beard for his six boyfriends in the two years that they dated, the sixth one being the guy who cheated on Chris with a guy with gonorrhea, which was why Chris was a an absolute bastard for months after the breakup. Also, Justin finally understood why Chris wouldn't spend all his free time with him; all those times Chris ditched him for his other friends, he was really fucking his boyfriend. JC was shy about being bisexual and took it very seriously, only taking home a guy when he'd done at least a week of research and a background search, and he only slept with crew guys and close friends. 

Justin came out as bisexual to everyone, and they all said they knew already but thanks for saying it, even though Chris said he was no longer responsible for what he said in interviews, now that they'd all confessed to their lack of straightness, even Joey who said he just liked to suck cock and wouldn't ever date one. All these things that Justin didn't know about, he could barely wrap his mind around it. How did he not notice? 

Joey found out about Justin losing his virginity to JC, and JC confessed he'd lost his virginity to Joey, which lead Joey to mutter something about Chris being his first guy. Lance announced he'd lost his at fifteen, to one of his showstopping buddies, but had probably only enjoyed it for the first time with JC, who agreed that the sex between them had been fantastic. They parted, Justin found out, only because they weren't in love and knew it, and Lance found Eric, and JC got with Bobbie. 

"And then Bass got with me," Chris said fondly, "because I was coming off a pretty bad relationship." 

"Abusive," Lance corrected him. "He was punching you, Chris." 

"I hit him back," Chris said defensively. 

"He hit you first," Lance replied, and they stared at each other. Suddenly, their way of ignoring everyone and silently bickering made sense. They didn't even need words anymore, and pretty soon, Chris nodded and turned away. "But I finally said something, and Chris broke it off. Then we fell for each other, or something." 

"Fantastic sex," Chris said, nodding knowingly. 

"The fantastic sex came later, once I was absolutely convinced the gonorrhea was cleared up," Lance admitted as Chris beamed at him, "but. You know. His brain and whatnot, too." 

"He cheated on Eric with me," Chris added. 

"I still feel bad about that," Lance said. 

"Oh, baby, don't. It just happened," and Justin tuned the rest of the conversation out because it was neither his business nor his place to listen in. Joey was explaining about his brush with S&M culture, and Justin just stopped listening to all of them. There were certain levels of need to know, and he was at the right one. Any more and it'd start getting weird. 

~~~ 

The fact hit Justin for real a few weeks later, while he was washing dishes. For the first time in nearly three years, he was single, and he was also no longer a virgin. He tried not to think about that night with JC, since he wasn't sure it was healthy to completely focus on something that so totally shouldn't have happened, but JC was his first and was being so nice about it. 

JC baked Justin brownies and made cupcakes that he painstaking decorated with rainbows to celebrate Justin's honesty about himself. Justin invited him over to watch movies, and they saw a whole bunch of queer videos that made Justin feel a lot better about his sexuality. He felt even more comfortable when JC curled up against him, head on Justin's chest, and happily talked through all of them. 

Britney called a little while later to say she wasn't angry anymore and to invite Justin out to shop. Justin tried to insist he wasn't into shopping, thought it was perhaps a bit too stereotypical, but Britney pointed out they used to shop like madmen when Justin was still playing like he was straight. Justin gave in. 

"That's pretty," Britney said when Justin picked up a glass ball in his hands, a red ribbon twisted in his fingers. Justin nodded, peering at the world through its crystalline web, and it was absolutely ethereal. It was like JC, when he stood against the sun and smiled brightly. "You're so in love with him, Justin. I shouldn't be happy for you, but I am." 

"I don't know how to tell him," Justin admitted, holding the glass in his palms. "He said he'd give me two months, but it seems so far away, and I can't wait until then. It's like I've already waited forever." He glanced at Britney, guilty. "I'm sorry." 

"Your heart's so big, Justin, I know you loved us both. Don't you worry," Britney said kindly and kissed him on the shoulder, smiling so beautifully. Justin bought the ball and had it gift-wrapped, and he felt like an absolute tool later, but Britney hushed him. "Justin, come on. You're allowed to buy your will-be boyfriend a present." 

"It's so sappy," Justin said, "and he's not my boyfriend." 

"Give it time," Britney replied. "Remember, it was bound to happen." 

"I don't really understand why everyone keeps saying that," Justin admitted, and Britney smiled. 

"You will." 

~~~ 

Justin gave JC the glass ball while he was at Justin's house, baking cookies. Justin skirted around the issue before shoving the box at JC and hiding his face as JC slowly untied the ribbon and sliced through the tape. The way his heart was beating, Justin feared death was imminent. 

"Oh, wow," JC said, holding it up to the light, "wow, that's so. It's like another universe in there, with lights and swirls and colours. It's amazing." JC held it higher and narrowed his eyes, the red ribbon spiralling around his wrist. "I'm going to put it up in my greenhouse." 

"I'm a big sappy loser," Justin mumbled, and JC grinned at him. Justin looked ruefully to the ground, folding his fingers together, but he looked up again when JC ducked under his head and kissed him, a real kiss, mouth to mouth. Justin just about died but tried to stay calm. He admitted, "I can't wait two months." 

"Then come out to dinner with me," JC said, smiling, and Justin couldn't stop staring at his eyes, which seemed almost purple under the flourescent lights of the kitchen. "I want to take you out. And you're not a big sappy loser, Justin, you're a hopeless romantic, and I know this already. I think it's sweet." 

"Okay," Justin said and felt better, especially when JC folded a hand behind Justin's neck, his index finger sliding into Justin's curls, and kissed him again, open-mouthed. Justin just held on the best he could, thumbs hooked into JC's belt loops. 

Britney was right. Justin was so in love already. 

~~~ 

Justin was aware that JC tended to throw himself into relationships with everything he could, his heart, his soul, his sexy as hell body, and Justin also knew it's what always drove people away from him. Most couldn't handle the type of dedication JC was willing to give, and they always walked away. Somehow, though, it made Justin want to come even closer. 

Making love was amazingly incredible. Justin couldn't even think of it as fucking because JC did it so earnestly, so lovingly, and Justin didn't want to ruin it for him by saying anything less. JC showed Justin everything he knew, which Justin understood was an amalgamation of stuff learned from the others, and somehow knowing that made it even more special. Justin learned to love waking up, covered in dried sweat and other sticky stuff, with JC breathing on him, hair huge and tangled, mouth smiling even in sleep. Morning became his favourite time of the day. 

"God, I think I'm a girl," Justin confessed to Chris while JC and Lance tried to barbeque steaks. Chris smirked, and Justin shook his head, huffing out a breath. "No, seriously. I feel like I did with Britney, only more, and he's a guy. Shouldn't things be different?" 

"Why should it be?" Chris asked, tipping his head. 

"I just," Justin said then twisted his face, trying to find the right words. "Remember when I wrote Gone because Britney was away at the salon and I thought she was never coming back?" Justin paused as Chris's face crumbled. "And fuck, Chris, don't laugh at me!" 

Chris choked back the laughter and shook his head. "No, man, I'm sorry. Sorry." 

"Well, it feels like that but less psychotic. I miss him all the time unless he's right there, and I'm writing all these sappy songs about his smile or his eyes or the way he folds the towels. I'm insane, man," Justin mumbled, rubbing at his forehead. 

"Justin. That's just the way you are, the way he likes you. Quite frankly, man, there's a reason JC and Lance never fell for each other. Lance is romantic but in a blunt way. He buys dinner, he takes the cars for an oil change, he de-worms my dogs. JC will paint you a picture and sing you a song. He's totally like you," Chris said, then grinned, "and I thank God every day I got the low maintenance guy." 

Justin scratched his chin. "Do you, like, love Lance?" 

"Yeah, I do," Chris said, nodding, and Justin looked out to see them still wrestling over the barbeque, trying to light it. They were going about it all wrong, but Justin wasn't going to say anything. Chris took another drink of his beer. "You done freaking out?" 

"Yep," Justin said. Things felt all right. 

~~~ 

JC was turning out to be the great love of Justin's life. Britney noticed it first, and Justin could only agree to it. It wasn't overwhelming anymore, not that heightened sense of urgency like it had been at the beginning, when Justin was terrified JC was going to move onto greener pastures, but it was still huge. Last weekend, Justin's mom and JC's family had come over for dinner, and been told, and nobody cared. They all knew, they said, that it was coming because it was bound to happen. 

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Justin asked as JC brushed his teeth, foaming in the bathroom door, and JC held up his hand and turned around to spit and rinse. Reclining, Justin kicked at the sheets until they were completely off his legs, and when JC came back in, he smiled and slid up against him. "Are we, like, destiny or something?" 

JC laughed. "I don't know. Maybe. It's, like, okay. When you take away the time we spend in bed and the kissing and you look at what's left, you see that, really, nothing's changed. It's still us. We still act exactly the same, in every other way. You still own too many shoes for my tastes, and I'm still a cheap bastard, and yes. It's like that." 

Justin thought about this then nodded. "So, because we still fight over everything we used to, like my shoes and your complete inability to spend money even when you should, like the way you buy all those dinged cans of mushroom soup or those half-open boxes of dill pickle crackers, that means we're destined to be here, in this bed, together?" 

"It means that you love me when you don't care that I come home with day-old bread or no-name soda brands," JC said, curled on the bed, half-laying on Justin's stomach, and Justin reached down his hand to stroke JC's hair away from his face. "I think no one is surprised because we acted like this before, even when we weren't intimate, and that what we felt for each other was so tangible even then that we didn't need physical intimacy to show everyone, and now that we are here, together in this bed, it's not surprising because it's exactly where we going to end up, and everyone knew it all along, and so did we, when we really thought about it, and we didn't, until just a few months ago." 

"So, pretty much," Justin said slowly, "we're just meant to be?" 

JC beamed and kissed Justin's belly. "In short? Yep, we really are.


End file.
